You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
