just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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