SEEEEXXX PLEASE
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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