Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
