you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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