Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
