If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I don't deserve a penis
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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