well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
