I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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