Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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