they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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