is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
