it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
