it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize