White coat. Heels.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
