i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
