Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
