Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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