it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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