what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
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