All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
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Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
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My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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