Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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