So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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