he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
