just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm just crazy horny about you
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
True strength comes from lack of pants
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You ate ashes out of my bong
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Randomize
