Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
He? As in you personified your dick?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
