So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
