I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
