Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
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