Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
