Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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