I hate all girls vehemently.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
