Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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