How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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