We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
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