it wasn't lemon gatorade
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
