Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
