so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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