I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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