dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Randomize
