i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
