Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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