I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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