I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
