So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize