I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
