i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
