windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
