North Korea, Best Korea!
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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