I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Randomize
