i think i have two assholes
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
