so explain again why im purple
no
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
