C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
