apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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