There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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