you would pick up someone in the library
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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