dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
