How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
