dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
