Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
