Sacagawea was the original milf.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
