he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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