so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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