This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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