So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
