Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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