Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Just high enough for therapy.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
