And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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